My life as a Duke

It's hard being the Duke of Edinstuppich. Everyday, I must sit in my castle just thinking up shit to do. Except for thursdays of course. Thursdays, I throw rocks at any peasantry that walk close to the castle. They enjoy the game I'm sure, but I won't want to wear it out so I only do it once a week.
Last month was decently exciting. I had a big feast and the Earl of Berdington started eating right in the middle of my toast (to my guests and the Lord for anointing me as a noble among his peoples). So I made a huge ruckus and had him thrown off a bridge for treason. His wife wasn't too happy about it and left a big whiny ass message on my machine.
Otherwise I sometimes go through the town to talk to peasants and I like to do that flinch move like I'm going to hit them and it is funny for a little while. Sometimes I walk in to a random house demanding a meal and have my staff and I eat all of their food. And then I go home and Duke. I like to Duke. That's what life as a Duke is like. I should have pictures of my dukely activities sometime later.