Hi I'm a barfly and I'm a loser

I am talking about people who go to rinky dink bars and just get piss drunk 5 nights a week with a bunch of other losers. I happened to accidentally be in an establishment like this in upstate michigan.
Oh my it was embarassing. On my left was some guy who just loved to play the Beatles. Every song on the juke box was, "good tune" or "I'm trying to bore you to death". I tried avoiding talking to him but as old idiot drunks go, they need to yammer on to anyone about any stupid thought they have. I should have inflated a doll and slipped it between us. Then again, he might do weird things to the doll and I could be scarred for life.
The guy also had the most obnoxious laugh in the world. Some guy at the bar was telling a joke and he would laugh really loud and obnoxious at parts that weren't funny and weren't the punch line. The joke-teller and all sane folks in the bar were baffled and probably wished for the man to pass out. He told me about 89 times he had a bus to catch in the morning. Let's hope he didn't step in front of it because that would be a tragedy.
Then there is some chick who talked to me about how she lived in a bad part of LA or something. She said she let anyone in to her house and told them she would offer any food she had and a place to stay. She said she did this because, "people are just people". Well "murder is just murder" and "getting robbed is just getting robbed" and same goes for rape, kidnapping, or stupidity. All these things actually mean themselves.
Then there was various other local drunks who just got loud sometimes and were barely coherent human beings. Get a family, get a life, get the fuck out of the bar for christ sake.
The bottom line is the scene reminded me of Billy Joel's song, Piano Man (Billy Joel is a jukebox in this case). Everyone in the bar was a complete and utter loser (myself? nahh...) and depressing. Let's find something to do for these people. Parachuteless skydiving would be a good hobby for them as well as "Frogger- the real life highway game."