100 things about me my mom doesn't even care about

I figure that this blog just wasn't complete unless I listed 100 things about me that no one gives a shit about. Seeing many of these lists has caused me many a head injury from passing out of boredom and clonking on my hardwood floor. I have come to think human contact is overrated and that we can all get to know each other exclusively through these lists.

1. I write on a blog.
2. I saw a cloud shaped like a penis yesterday.
3. The cloud ran right in to the open part of a bunch of geese doing the flying V.
4. I pee in my pants sometimes.
5. While they are on the floor.
6. I physically abuse my pets.
7. I have a Chia pet and 2 pet rocks.
8. I am a zoroastrian.
9. When I wear a hat, I usually wear it on my head.
10. I like teasing little kids.
11. I also like giving little kids cigarettes.
12. I can't decide between Tom Cruise and Ellen Degeneres for the "Greatest American".
13. I get Canadian television in Michigan and saw the "Greatest Canadian" on CBC and am convinced the "Greatest American" is a rip off.
14. I also noticed Alexander Graham Bell is on both lists.
15. Just because someone dies in your country doesn't mean you own him.
16. I'm looking at you Canada.
17. I should be studying for finals right now.
18. I spend 10x more time on the blog than studying.
19. I have to work to pay my tuition.
20. I resent my parents for being too poor to pay it, yet too rich to qualify for any sort of financial aid.
21. I am listening to Loveline right now.
22. I would vote for a Corolla/Pinsky ticket for president.
23. The book I am currently reading is, "See Dick and Jane run from their marital problems" .
24. I am a card carrying member of the Secretary of State of Michigan.
25. I know that in Michigan, we call the DMV the Secretary of State.
26. I'm the King of the Universe.
27. I don't have any kids.
28. I won't get married until I am at least 30.
29. She won't be more than 25.
30. I love chocolate milk.
31. I love chocolate.
32. I wonder if it is offensive to say I love chocolate people.
33. I stopped at 24 and this is my second run at this list.
34. I realize how bored you are if you have read this far.
35. I feel the same pain when I read other people's lists.
36. I am going to make this blog in to a book one day from that one site.
37. I know all the words to the national anthem.
38. If I were to sing it a hockey game, I could maintain my balance the whole time.
39. I hate Katie Couric.
40. I love Kelly Ripa.
41. I hate Matt Lauer.
42. I like Regis Philbin.
43. I switched from love to like when going from Kelly Ripa to Regis.
44. I am heterosexual, that's why.
45. Homo's don't bother me.
46. My university made it to the NCAA Basketball tournament this year for the first time ever.
47. I took four years of high school german.
48. Ich wuerde ein deutsches Maedchen bumsen.
49. I took one semester of college german and my teacher was a god damn hippie so I am done with german now.
50. We made posters in that class.
51. That embarassed me as a college student.
52. I have an incredible prejudice of seagulls.
53. I don't mind being naked in front of my cat.
54. My cat doesn't mind being naked in front of me.
55. We agreed not to stare.
56. I have a little brother.
57. He is really weird, he's 5 and speaks quite broken English.
58. Albert Einstein couldn't speak fluently until he was 9.
59. Number's 57-59 have nothing to do with me.
60. I have two boots with wheels on the bottom.
61. I think my anthropology class is the most boring class in the world.
62. I wear socks everyday.
63. I don't have a girlfriend.
64. My mom says it's because I'm too attractive.
65. 65 days is about how long it takes for me to pay taxes.
66. I think we don't get our money's worth.
67. I am majoring in journalism.
68. I want to make a lot of money.
69. I am reconsidering majoring in journalism.
70. I jump rope for a living.
71. I can move things with my brain.
72. I never use my moving-things-with-my-brain powers.
73. I answer the phone some times.
74. I only do it when it rings.
75. I am a pirate.
76. Although I'm 200 years too late.
77. I am horrible at shaving.
78. Go ahead and ask my cat.
79. If you cut one side of a cat's whisker's off, it will walk around drunk-like.
80. Refer to number 78.
81. I don't know what 9 x 9 is.
82. In my spare time, I lift objects only to put them back down again.
83. I do it in 3 sets of ten.
84. I read a good amount.
85. Not anything I am supposed to read.
86. Duct tape is something I love to have around
87. my victim's hands and feet.
88. I think a list of 88 is about the same thing as a list of 100.