5 of something else

This is the 5 questions game presented by: the regular annoyances of the blogosphere. I wanted to fill up some space and have an excuse to talk about myself so here it goes. Regular commenter oossoo has asked the following:

Not an easy thing to do Clupbert! But since you've kept me company since the first day I met boredomrelief, I owe you! K, here goes

1.Which microbe do you indentify with the most?

I would say flagellates because I'd admire their flagellum. I think it'd be useful for getting around the water. Ok just kidding, sperm are fun and I want to be one.

2.Give me the real reason why you hate hippies and communists.

They're both so whiny and stupid. Also they live in a reality that is not of this world.

3.Your favorite smell?

I like the smell of sweet success. Homeless people smell because of their failure and rich people smell great because of all the cool things they can buy.

4.Don't you think reptiles make better pets?

No actually, I don't. I think mammals are the best pets, and most specifically, chimpanzees. They're not just your pet, they're also your friend and thing that you can experiment on.

5.Would you like/consider a career in pedagogy?

Yes, definitely. What I always say is that teachers have giant egos. They like having a captive audience that has to listen to every word they say. That suits me.
They also don't have to be effective, the job is easy, lot's of time off, and it pays decent despite the bitching and complaining you always hear.
Another bonus would be brainwashing kids and having affairs with hot young female TA's.

Alright, anyone want five questions from me? Just let me know and I will whip up a batch of questions for you. It fills up space and let's you glorify yourself (I'm looking at you, EVERYBODY).