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Monday, August 01, 2005

Germans make big whore house

In preparation for the 2006 world cup, a German company is going to make a gigantic 60 room brothel in Berlin.
"We likea sex. Dierben dauben dooben schuben take your shirt off and show us your booben is what we always say" said a spokesman for the Artemis project, named after the greek god of fellatio. He also added, "This is the age of the mega warehouse. If we didn't start this place, Wal-Mart would."
100 prostitues will staff the place. Most of the prostitutes will be the low self-esteem, formerly abused, trainwrecks of people they normally are. There will also be a lot of amenities like saunas, whirlpools, and other distractions to get in the way of banging whores.
In Germany, prostitution is legal only in designated areas just like the United States where legal areas include Nevada, Courtney Love's house, and most major political headquarters. One of the other cities, Dortmund, will be instituing drive-through sex garages to, "increase efficiency and lower costs, and of course make it really easy to bang whores."
McDonalds has shown interest in getting in to the prostitution market with cool themes like sex value meals, McBlowjobs®, and the McMissionary®.
"Whores and soccer are like brot und kaese or a better analogy would be they go together like a penis and a vagina" said one Berlinner. The mayor of Berlin is not endorsing the project saying that he is in no need of of such a house of skank, but if necessary will personally test out every hooker in the facility.

11 Comments:

At 8:45 AM PDT, Blogger Zoe said...

LOL at both your post and the first comment!

 
At 12:10 PM PDT, Blogger Hatcher said...

Actually, I've done some work for Wal-Mart, and they would have posed no threat in this department. When Wal-Mart launched its operations in Germany, it found that some of the cultural differences between America and Germany made certain business practices less successful in Germany. Specifically, German customers hated the Wal-Mart greeter. Wal-Mart was no threat to enter the sex-hospitality business when its hiring practices involve hiring geriatric women and men to make you feel, er, comfortable.

 
At 2:34 PM PDT, Blogger Clupbert said...

Ralph, do you doubt the accuracy of the story? Vielleicht ob ich es auf Deutsch schrieb?

thanks oossoo, I found Ralph's lack of a sense of humor sort of mechanical or maybe a better word would be "german".

Wal-mart is the king of business. Don't tell them they can't do anything; they will make prostitution cheaper than internet porn. Sam Walton is my hero.

 
At 3:02 PM PDT, Blogger Blog ho said...

ralph...you have a lot to learn about Germany. it's where the Germans live. i must book my tickets soon...before my wife reads this article.

 
At 3:49 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is completely hilarious. you're a genius...or the germans are...

 
At 8:15 PM PDT, Blogger Clupbert said...

Yeah you can make a lot of jokes about hookers with your new hooks ho. Go up to one and scratch in the face and be like, "that's why you're called hookers you know".

And Ginger, it's definitely me.

 
At 12:43 PM PDT, Blogger Sarah said...

What's this about Germans lacking a sense of humour? You saying we can't take a joke? I will BURN you for that, motherfucker. Literally throw you in a furnace and BURN you.

 
At 9:12 PM PDT, Blogger Paul said...

Man! The comments are funny today! Except for Blog Ho's...his kinda sucks.

Does this 'resort' have cable tv? I love to watch classic reruns of I Love Lucy after I bang whores.

 
At 2:48 PM PDT, Blogger Clupbert said...

Ok let's try to change the connotation of the word "whore" together steph. (meant in the positive sense that a girl is confident and provides a good service for her money.)

You are a complete and total whore.

 
At 4:10 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never a dull moment over here

 
At 9:36 PM PDT, Blogger Paul said...

What is it about this site that inspires such anger in people? I've read blogs so much more offensive than this one, yet you guys get more angry people than any others. Way to go, assholes.

Both individuals are providing services to an employer, and both are getting paid. So why does only one get the derogatory label?

That reminds me of that Shakepeare quote - "What's in a name? That which we call a whore
By any other word would still be a slut."

 

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