Semantics®! The fun new game from Milton Bradley!

Man there is nothing like semantics to really add to a debate or conversation. The other day my mom asked my step-dad if the phone was on the chair next to him and guess what he said... ...he said, "yeah it is" and proceeded to just stare blankly. Why? Because he was playing Semantics®, the fun new game from Milton Bradley. See my mom didn't directly ask for the phone, she implied it. He gagged her on this technical error, and everyone had a great laugh, yay!
There is nothing funnier than picking apart someone's language as if language was a solid non abstract thing. Try it at home. Treat everyone like they are a robot. When someone asks you how you are doing, say "how am I doing what jackass?" What a stupid question! Or how about if they say I am going upstairs, then you say: ok buddy, "I am going 'across floor'".
If someone is arguing with you and they say they believe in preemptive war, then instead of focusing on the argument as a whole, proceed to break down the word preemptive and talk about how preemptive could mean a million things. And if they call you a liberal, remind them that liberals freed slaves and founded America! Because it is the same word, how could it possibly have other meanings? I think all words should just have one concrete meaning and that if someone doesn't follow a strict code, make a fart noise with your hands and shout ERROR really loud in their face!
And if you are a comedian, a good bit to do that is not completely and utterly overused is talking about euphemisms and slang. We don't call people deaf, we call them hearing impaired, we don't call George Carlin boring and unoriginal, we call his book and section on euphamisms "lacking insight and comedic value". Other comedians like to be like "what is up with this phrase? Go break a leg! Id respond with fuck you pal!" Ha. That is great. We drive in a parkway, park in a driveway and other terms are just a riot. Take the slang right out of context because you're playing Semantics® and you don't have to decipher meaning out of people's words any more than you have to. Remember there is no better way to get out of losing an argument or kill a conversation dead than to play Semantics®.