I'm the boss now

I am 20 and have had about 5 jobs or so since I was 14 and I think all the time about how things would be different if I was the boss. I just hate the horrible 35 year old losers that manage teenagers. They constantly feed their starving little ego because of horribly stupid they are and how much potential all of us young people have. Well anyway, here's the list:

When you're done with your work, you can sit down- Every job I have had has all this busy work. When they give you a certain number of tasks and you get through it, there is no feeling of euphoria because there is a lot of bread on the shelves that need straightening or you can clean your counter top or masturbate in the bathroom. It gives the employee no incentive to get actual tasks done because they're belittled to death by busy work.

"Fuck off" passes- When you do a spectacular job, you get a pass to tell a customer to fuck off.- This allows venting and I would of course limit the fuck off's to people who are not regular customers and who really are being whiny pains in the asses. As a boss, I know a customer would complain and I would tell the customer a lie like I demoted or fired the offender and give the customer a coupon or something.

At closing the time, the store becomes a playground- Game of the day would be instituted. In some workplaces, we did this illegally by playing paper football, or at one particular shoe store, we played "bean each other with socks". I would just make this legal so the employees have an incentive to get the job done so we can have playtime. This also encourages employees to not hate work so much, and it also allows us to identify the sissy fags that need to be fired for throwing like a girl or sucking at sports.

Competitions- We would have a giant bulletin board offering up various competitions for things like "selling a customer something they don't need", "who could get lunch at the nearest McDonalds the fastest (list the record time)", "consecutive times not late", "number of shots made in a row( somewhere in the store I would have a basketball hoop or ring for a football)", "number of (insert ethnic group here)'s served" and other various things.

No work today Days- 1 or 2 days a year, when everyone showed up to work, I would just close down the business because of "electrical problems" and have a party. This makes you feel like your entering the lottery everytime you came to work.

Punch a customer in the face day- This is where my business has failed because my business has become a rumpus room and the list is ending. I figure on the last day before I go out of business, we should happy slap some customers and record it on our cell phones like they do in the UK.