A gas tale

The other day I was pumping gas and as the total pushed past $40 for a tank of gas that would normally cost under $30, the nozzle from the pump livened up like a snake. I was like holy shit, that gas pump is alive. We did a little dance and I showcased the ol' 1-2 when the pump then punched me in the face knocking me to the ground. It then proceeded to rape me in the ass. That's when I woke up. The weird thing is my asshole hurt. What does it all mean? Strange huh?