An epiphany- a new religion

The other day I was talking to my blartner and we realized we woke up and had the same dream the night before. A being explained the exact same history of the universe and meaning of life to both of us. It was an amazing coincidence and after much deliberation and story confirming research, we will now tell you the story of what we now deem, "Concoctia". You know it's true because we both had the same dream at the same time in different places. How do you know that we did? Well we're telling you right now of course.

IN the beginning there was a single being, Lord Elron, and in his own words, he "just sat there in the nothingness". Elron, being extremely bored with nothingness, decided to create a world called the planet Ree. Ree turned out to be an incredible planet and the beings Elron created advanced along nicely. Soon, they had the technology and arrogance to try and challenge Elron's authority himself. The Ree's had high priests and priestesses who advised against this numerous times but the political leaders of Ree didn't trust the power of Elron and demanded that he quit his influence on their planet.
So Elron smited them. He didn't just normal smite them either. He thought of crazy ass cool ways to smite them. One of his ways was to rain barbecue sauce from the heavens drowning many and grossing out all.
Elron then created a bunch of other planets along long time ago in a galaxy far far away. That part of history has been extensively chronicled in the 9 screenplays written by George Lucas. Elron knew in advance Lucas would make the casting mistake of letting Hayden Christiansen play Anakin Skywalker so if you're wondering about Lucas' chin, then now you know why it is the way it is.
Anyway, after the Star Wars period of history, Lord Elron got drunk off of some muskliox one night and created the biggest BB gun ever and destroyed that universe in a series of drunken stupors known as the "Meklediax disaster".
He then created Earth. He first created earth and man about 10,000 years ago but made the earth looks for all intents and purposes like it was much much older. He did this to piss off people who questioned him, and to give him a reason to smite Bill Maher. (If you're wondering how, what he did was to make Bill Maher actually resemble a phallis-big head, skinny body).
He then wanted to inform everyone of the religion and he was deciding how. He was sick of not having anyone pay attention to him even though he was Lord and creator of the universe. So what did he do?
Well he created a blog, he told us. This further pissed him off because all he wanted to do was write and write and write and have everyone leave him comments telling him how great he was. His Lord site meter told him that there were 10 million other people doing the exact same thing. To feed his lord-sized ego, he decided to inform us of the history of the universe with instructions on how to worship him correctly. We asked him if it was such a good idea to tell about the blogs and the Melediax disaster because it didn't look so lordly, but he said getting people to worship someone so brutally honest and such a big asshole would be an even bigger kick for him. So that is the history of the universe. We will post the theory and meaning of life and the rules for the religion next.